Economic Diversion Protocols: Masking the Decline

This week in the Musk multiverse:

• Tesla sales dipped by 13%
  
  

• Elon stepped back from his political hobby job
  
  

• SpaceX launched another fleet of space Wi-Fi
  
  

• And somewhere, a Cybertruck probably got duct-taped again
  
  

Let’s break it down — meme-style.

📉 Tesla Sales Took a Hit — and It Wasn’t Just the Economy

Tesla delivered 13% fewer vehicles this quarter. That’s… not great.

Analysts blame everything from:

• Rising competition
  
  

A cooling EV market

• Musk’s Twitter rants
  
  

• And a growing consumer trend called “maybe not that guy.”
  
  

Tesla, once the crown jewel of clean energy, is now battling brand damage — not just supply chains.

“I didn’t stop liking Teslas,” said one former fan.

“I just didn’t want my car to scream ‘I retweet Elon’s conspiracy threads.’”

Oof.

🏛 Elon’s Side Quest: Becoming America’s Most Problematic Consultant

Turns out Musk was unofficially helping lead a government agency called “DOGE” (yes, real acronym).

This week, Trump said Elon can stay “as long as he likes.”

Elon seems to be… ghosting.

Why?

Because getting involved in politics is messy.

And getting blamed for Wisconsin election losses? Even messier.

Musk’s new motto: “Less government efficiency, more Space Wi-Fi.”

🚀 Meanwhile, in Space…

SpaceX? Still crushing.

• 27 more Starlink satellites launched
  
  

• Super Heavy booster reused (again)
  
  

• Mars meme dream: still loading
  
  

It’s almost like the parts of Musk’s empire that don’t involve his personal brand are doing just fine.

Imagine that.

🎭 Techno-Theater Summary: Elon’s Having a Week™

🧠 Final Thought:

When your companies start to fall off but your rockets still go up, maybe it’s time to log off.

Or at least post less.

Or maybe — wild idea — just build the things you said you would.

🛠️ Bonus Resource:

Want to understand why Silicon Valley is quietly terrified of Elon’s orbit?

Check this out: Politico: Inside the Fear of Musk

📣 Be the Glitch

If you laughed, cringed, or raised an eyebrow — share this post with someone who still thinks Full Self-Driving is dropping “next month.”

We’ll wait.